in short, My Relationship coaching is for you if:
1) You are in the early dating phase, have recently gotten engaged or are recently married:
You want to establish rock solid relationship foundations by developing and honing your relational skills in healthy interdependence, boundaried intimacy, vulnerability and trust, conflict repair and trigger navigation.
You want to create and sustain a thriving couples' friendship with rituals of connection that are best suited to your partnership, experience pleasurable sexual and sensual intimacy and the tender dance of maintaining mystique, play and novelty in your relationships, for long term relationship success.
You want to establish above foundations and want to have a powerfully resourcing coaching program on your side supporting you establish these agreements, standards (particularly around household labour, parenting and finances, all of which are key concerns that lead to relationship collapse), boundaries and skill building now, so you can benefit from your commitment for years to come.
2) You want to learn how to repair trust ruptures (excluding abuse and ongoing infidelity) and conflict in a timely manner to support long term relationship success:
You want to address and release resentment and patterns of criticism, reactivity and defensiveness and/or feeling unheard, invisible and insignificant in your relationships because of people-pleasing and losing sight of your own needs.
If your attachment styles seem to clash, my Relationship coaching can help you navigate these differences with more compassion, curiosity and care, so you can build a secure, abundant relationship as a team.
3) You are looking to determine if you should stay or go:
You would like to receive dedicated, professional and compassionate support around navigating one of the most important decisions any person will make in their life, which is the decision regarding “Should I stay or go?” and determining the future of your marriage or long term relationship.
If you are looking for actionable insight and support on moving through this challenging situation with care and your well being and that of your loved ones front and centre, my coaching is for you.
I will cover everything from feeling more safe and secure within yourself, to decision making aligned with your long term success in and out of your relationship(s) or marriage, to the safe and skilled navigation of conflict, grief and turbulence in the process.
Whether you are unsure about challenging conversations with your partner/spouse or your children, with their safety and well being at the forefront, my coaching will support you fully, so you can experience peace and ease as you chart your path ahead to greater health, joy and satisfaction.
4) You are polyam/nonmonogamous and looking for your most liberatory, fulfilling, secure relationships.
You are looking for a trauma sensitive, polyam, queer coach who works with a systemic and attachment sensitive lens, so you can feel heard, seen and be actively supported with navigating your unique challenges with empirically validated forms of relationship support.
I have coached folks on everything from conflict repair in polyam contexts to healing trust ruptures and navigating polyam break ups to NRE related challenges like jealousy and struggles with abandonment wounding to navigating consent and equitable relationships and, finally, codependency, perfectionism and people-pleasing recovery as polyam folks.
Whether you've been polyam for a while or are considering opening up your marriage or relationship, I can support you experience deeply healing, radical, secure and pleasurable relationships.
5) You are interested in maintaining and growing solid, high trust, intimate, loving foundations in your relationship/marriage:
You have built or are building and reinforcing solid relational foundations in your relationship or marriage.
You want an expert Relationship coach working with you to notice your blind spots and pinpoint not just areas of growth and healing but how exactly to go about this individual and interpersonal healing, so you can prevent or work to spot and resolve, in a timely manner, harmful relationship patterns from unbridled anger to people-pleasing to stonewalling and intimacy avoidance, long before they become chronically corrosive to your marriage or relationships.
On average, folks seek help 6-7 years too late.
Relationship coaching that maximizes the impact of your existing healing and skillset, while reducing your chances of slipping into unhealthy, self-sabotaging patterns, particularly the ones that have challenged you in the past and may make a resurgence when intimacy and vulnerability are deepening, so your relationship(s) receive the key foundational support to reward you in joy, connection, pleasure and intimacy for years to come.
My Relationship coaching isn't for you if:
1) You are experiencing domestic violence or currently experiencing post separation abuse. My clients who have safely exited the relationship and are under the care of a therapist, or other clinical mental health practitioner qualified to support them, work with me in heartbreak recovery coaching instead.
2) You are not interested in relational skill building and want quick overnight results rather than seeing relationships as an ongoing process of learning, growth, connection, repair and deepening intimacy.
3)You don't feel you need or want an empirically grounded approach to coaching and healing. My coaching is founded in decades of research by leaders in the field of Relationship research, intimacy and conflict repair such as the Gottmans, Susan Johnson, Esther Perel, Stan Tatkin, Jules Shore, Janina Fisher, Carol Gilligan, to name a few core influences.
4) You are invested in polarity or masculinity/femininity based gender binarist coaching and uninterested in expanding past its limitations.
5) You are unwilling to evaluate areas in which growth, healing and skill building would benefit your own greatest well being as well as your relationship(s) or marriage. My work is compassion and solutions centered. Valid complaints and anger aside, repeated contemptuous or derogatory venting about partners in coaching sessions is not a good fit for my services.