the Core pillars of asooli heartbreak recovery: Guidance and blessings

I've been thinking of sharing my heartbreak recovery framework, to showcase my approach but also provide folks some guidance/ideas on how the heartbreak recovery process works, generally speaking.

A few Key Pillars of my Heartbreak Recovery Work are below:

1) Grounding, centering and soothing when feeling shattered in the aftermath of breakups/divorces and ghosting, particularly when breadcrumbing and other forms of neglect were involved.

2) Understanding how oppression (internalized and otherwise) complicates grief after heartbreak, as well as how to gently heal from this wounding in ways that honour your generational/cultural knowledge, capacity and intersections.

3) Developing a nervous system aware, deeply self-compassionate approach to abandonment wounding, so you can safely begin healing the same and gain deep trust in your worthiness, belonging and agency.

This is especially important for folks who have experienced spousal abandonment, infidelity trauma, have abandonment histories from childhood, such as adoptees, or other significant relationships.

I will also uncover how capitalist, patriarchal dehumanizing terms like "dumper dumpee" signal discardibility and disposability, which furthers shame and isolation for folks navigating heartbreak, including those who initiate breakups/divorces.

For folks with whom this will resonate, I also address serial abandoners whose baggage we can take on as our own, through self-blame and harsh self-criticism, assuming their abandoning tendencies (stemming from their own unhealed trauma) speak to our defectiveness.

I also coach folks who initiated breakups on releasing shame, guilt and compassionately navigating any of their own abandonment wounding in the process.

You will release these burdens, which were never yours to carry to begin with, and feel more lightness, ease and access to joy and possibility than you thought possible.

4) Learning how to feel your feelings, in a safe and mindful way, so you don't spiral into complete overwhelm.

There is a lot of pressure on folks to endlessly feel their feelings in order to recover from heartbreak, and I work to ease this and offer tools as well as practices to help you feel as much you can safely experience for your healing and proceeding from there.

5) Maintaining healthy boundaries after breakups/divorces and ghosting, so you can have the space to heal without risking your safety and well being. No contact isn't always necessary, btw. And there are many ways to draw appropriate boundaries for your specific situation.

These boundaries can prevent you getting stuck in patterns of on and off relationships that go nowhere, blurred lines that allow you to continue as partners (such as frequent break up sex or enmeshment) which creates confusion and psychological stress, thus delaying healing and starting a new chapter on solid nourishing ground and other significant ways in which boundary lapses can hurt us (and partners) after heartbreak.

I also provide helpful boundary tips and coaching for separated/ divorced parents.

6) Avoiding burnout after heartbreak by combining the latest in heartbreak recovery and burnout recovery research.

This is to ensure you're well nourished, individually and in community, working on a schedule that replenishes your body, which is still reeling from the trauma of heartbreak, and/or resting in ways that lessen overstimulation (and any other factors unique to your situation) to promote deeper healing and so much more.

If you're interested in learning more about my heartbreak recovery coaching, you're welcome to contact me for a zero pressure chat.